Like anything else, dating is a skill. While there was a time when I would have scoffed at any rules in love, apparently there are some. Now that I’ve got my feet wet by actually going on a couple of dates, I’m beginning to realize, and be amused by this. I guess my naivete comes from an utter lack of experience. I’ve never technically gone on a date before this. I have only fallen desperately in love. With S, that was one of the things I really loved about the early parts of our relationship – there were never any ‘games’. We were both intelligent, attractive people secure enough in ourselves to not have to play hard to get. It was so easy and natural. I like you. I like you too. Simple.
My trainer J who has also become a close friend was telling me this the other day. She said, you should be with a guy you can text ten times a day if you want to without any qualms. I was like, I know!! I miss that! Both S and V were that kind of guys. She was also like “You are queen. You have all these options. You pick. Not them.” I was blown away. Woah. The kind of badass confidence that statement inspired was long overdue. And I’m still riding that wave.
I cannot deny that what has also helped me achieve that is becoming somewhat hot again (Hot and dangerous, per J:D). When all the sexy dresses in your closet that weren’t fitting in your fat period fit you beautifully again, you’re like, yassss, bitches! Tina Fey once said, every woman needs to have a fat period in her life. I couldn’t agree more. Its humbling. Its life experience. It also makes you more understanding of the next girl struggling with her health. As a doctor, this has really helped me guide my patients. I can recommend things with conviction because I know they’ve worked for me.
The same goes for mental health issues. My interns marvel at my knack for dealing with people suffering from depression and anxiety. I laugh it off, saying it must be something about my face that makes them open up. What they don’t know is how close to home those issues are for me. To every single mother, abused girlfriend, and IV drug user that I come across, I want to say, I know how it feels! I was there! I know how it is to feel stuck, helpless, hopeless! But I hold back. Instead I hold their hand, tell them there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Tell them there’s hope. I hold back because for all the advances we’ve made, there’s still stigma associated with mental health issues, even among healthcare providers. Every day I see my co-residents bemoaning their suicidal patient. Its unfortunate, but is nobody’s fault. Its just one of those things that society has yet to catch up with. As a medical student, I remember sitting in for the psychiatry clinics silently judging most patients who were seeking help. Come on, get over it! Its not that bad as you make it out to be, I would say in my head. Now I know they just can’t help it. And they need all the help they can get. So while my career choice is Infectious Diseases, which I absolutely love, I am hoping to find an avenue for helping out patients with mental health issues. Maybe there’s a volunteer opportunity somewhere. I should do some research. I have so much to give on this front.
So that post took quite the detour. See? It’s not about boys anymore. But that’s all for now. I gotta go. I have a date:)