It was 1 am. The lights of the night sky filtered through my window onto my bed. It was March, but Winter and Spring had yet to make up their minds about which one of them was on that night. The air was cold, but it was cozy under my covers. I had to wake up at 4:45 the next morning. But I did not care one bit. I was happy, peaceful, content, as I lay on my side, my back against his chest, my head resting on his arm. He held me tight, his fingers absently running across my bare skin. He had just put on his favorite Selena song on iTunes. The one he used to listen to with his brother growing up. He pushed my hair behind my ears. I don’t remember what he was talking about. But I do remember that he frequently paused, to plant tender kisses on the back of my neck, my cheek, my forehead. I smiled with each one, my eyes closed, my soul warm.
Then he sang along.
“Dreaming all tonight…
Till tomorrow and for all of my life
And there’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be
Than here in my room dreaming with you endlessly..”
His voice was broken, soft, almost breathy. As if he was whispering a promise. Like the ones he had done earlier in the evening.
“Will you marry me?” He had asked.
I had nodded fervently, through tears. How could I not? How could I not give this wonderful man and his son all the love in the world? They had been through so much. I have always thought of myself as having an infinite capacity for love. And they deserved every bit of it. “I will move anywhere, with you”, he had said. “It will be you, me and E from here on forever.”
It was perfect.
The kind of perfect that made me giddy and scared at the same time. ‘Cause I knew it was not going to be this way always. I knew there was most likely going to be a lot of hurt in our future. But I did not want to think about all that for now.
‘Cause for now, my heart was doing cartwheels.